Stupid Questions

There are supposedly no stupid questions. I beg to differ. The Monk (a.k.a Michael) and I are constantly besieged with questons like the ones below. I'm not making these up. These are actual questions, asked by actual Barber children. Be warned, the answers are pretty idiotic and were given by actual Barber parents.

1. Can I have a snack?
No, the eggs/bacon/toast/banana/ham sandwich/carrots/lasagna/salad/bread/apple you already had today is enough. Besides, lunch is in an hour. Look it up on this food pyramid.

2. Why do I like strawberries?
It's genetic. Look it up in this Time special on the brain.

3. Why do I have to do chores?
Dusting is your calling. Look it up in the Bible.

4. Why does he have to keep looking at me and breathing?
It's sibling rivilary. Look it up at DrPhil.com.

5. I forget, do we live in a one story or two story house?
Are you kidding? Look it up in Architectural Digest.

6. Can I have a popsicle?
No, we are dead. Look it up in the obituaries.

Truly, however, the really stupid questions seem to come out of my mouth.
1. Do you understand me?
Of course they understand, they speak English. Mostly.

2. Do you hear me?
Seriously? The neighbors can hear me.. through walls... with the windows closed.... with the radio playing on 10.... while wearing earmuffs.

3. Why do I have to tell you more than once?
Because the first three thousand eight hundred and forty five times did not sink in yet.

4. Who did this?
Oh yeah, they are lining up to admit to this one.

But most importantly,
5. Why did we sign up to be parents?
The first time, I can honestly say it was because we didn't know what we were signing up for. After that, I guess I can just be thankful that God gave us amnesia about the bad days. Besides, they are all sleeping as I write this and it's kind of nice to just go around and look at their sleeping faces. I can cover their feet back up ('cause everyone knows the monsters only come out for feet left out of the covers) and know that tomorrow will be a better day. Won't it? Or is that the stupidest question of all?

New to Blogging

First things first. I am more than a little bit crazy. If you are looking for a rational or sane look into a middle aged woman's life, this is the wrong place. I am hardly sane and seldom rational. But I am middle aged and I am interesting.

Michael, my saintly husband, and I have been married for 13 years. Our secret to success is that only one of us is allowed to be crazy at a time. So far, it has been my turn.

For the last four years, I have been struggling with debilitating rheumatoid arthritis. I had to quit a very lucrative career as a systems analyst and programmer for naps and medications.

We have eight children (currently). Yup, eight kids. Five are adopted and have been severely abused. One was from Michael's practice marriage, one from my practice marriage and one together.

Our faith is Orthodox Christian... like Greek Orthodox, but without the Greek. We are actually Antiochian Orthodox. Look it up sometime.

Due to really rotten secondary schools in Nashville, we home school. From senior in high school down to third grade, my days are busy with the assistance of my mother. She is a retired school teacher so I have to lean on her a lot. And she lives five minutes away.

I have a permit to carry a concealed handgun... and carry, I do. Range time is important to a girl! Given what some of the bio-parents to our kids are like, the handguns are a critical part of our life. Nobody messes with my kids!

Like I said, interesting, right? So, if you want to know more, I'll try this blogging thing and see how it works out. No promises.